CelinaSistrunk329

Lawyer Cracks

Q: So how exactly does a pregnant woman know she's holding a future lawyer?

A: She has an extreme desire for baloney.

Q: What's the legal definition of Appeal?

A: Something an individual slips on in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes right before lawyers?

A: To apply.

Q: What can you call a lawyer having an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: Whats the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer costs more.

Q: What would you call a smiling, sober, polite individual at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, another side has to obtain one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney?

A: An give you can't understand.

Q: What do you call an attorney gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they only released a fresh Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie?"

A: It comes with 1 / 2 of Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What is the difference between a pit bull and legal counsel?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What is this is of mixed feelings?

A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: Whats the distinction between accountants and lawyers?

A: At the very least accountants know theyre boring.

Stories:

1. A man who'd been caught embezzling thousands went along to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Dont fear. Youll never go to prison with all that money? Actually, if the man was delivered to jail, he didnt have a penny.

2. Since the attorney awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There is just a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you'd died."

3. God chose to just take the devil to judge and settle their differences for many and once. Satan noticed this, said and laughed, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

4. An attorney is sitting at the table in his new office. He hears some body arriving at the entranceway. To impress his first potential customer, he accumulates the telephone whilst the door opens and says, "I need one million and not just a dollar less". As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, "I am here to hook up your phone."

And finally:

You Could Be Legal Counsel If.... You are asking anyone to read these cracks. thumbnail